What I Did This Summer

Sadie working on an art project
during school.

It's been a while since my last blog post - and a lot has happened in that short time. At the end of the last post, Sadie was being treated for pneumonia in the PICU at Lurie Children's Hospital. She was able to come home in mid-May after about a week in the hospital. She went back to school a few days later. Her regular school year ended in late May, and Sadie started her ESY program (or Extended School Year) in early June. ESY is essentially the same thing as school - same hours, days, etc., but it runs only through the end of June.


In early July, we took a short family vacation to a lovely beach house on the east side of Lake Michigan. The weather was great - "Sadie weather," as we call it - mid-70's with a nice breeze. Because Sadie has a hard time regulating her temperature, we try not to take her outside if it is too warm.  Sadie got to enjoy the beach for the first time and put her little toes in the sand. She also enjoyed laying on her towel in the shade - a regular bathing beauty!

The following week, we were preparing Sadie for surgery. For some time now, we had been speaking to her neurosurgeon and epilepsy doctor about placing a VNS (Vagus Nerve Stimulator). I mentioned the device and how it works in a previous blog post. Essentially, it helps to control erratic brain waves through a series of pulses to the vagus nerve. The device also comes with a magnet that can be "swiped" at the onset of a seizure - and has the potential to stop or decrease the severity of a seizure.



Staying cool at the beach.

However, in typical Sadie fashion, a curveball was thrown at the last minute - and the VNS surgery was changed to a shunt revision procedure. You see, in addition to speaking to the doctors about the VNS, they had also been monitoring her shunt function. Despite multiple shunt taps and MRIs, Sadie's team of doctors wasn't convinced that her shunt was working properly. The MRI continued to show enlarged ventricles - which is an indication of excess fluid in the brain. So, two days prior to her scheduled VNS surgery, the procedure was changed and Sadie underwent a shunt revision.

During a shunt revision, the doctor checks all the components of the shunt - the catheters into the brain and down into the belly, as well as the valve function. The doctor explained that he knew there was an issue as soon as they opened up the incision, as fluid was pooling around the shunt. This is an indication that the valve was not working the way it should. The shunt valve - which was a fixed valve - was replaced with a programmable valve. With this new valve, the rate of flow can be adjusted if necessary.

The procedure itself took about 2 hours, and Sadie did great in recovery and was out of the hospital the next day. An MRI is scheduled for this week to see if this new valve is set to the correct setting. But, we are hopeful that this procedure corrected the issue with her shunt once and for all!

We are anxious to proceed with the VNS surgery. Sadie's seizures are still quite difficult to control. She has now tried 15 different treatments - a variety of medications, ketogenic diet, surgery - and she is still having seizures daily - sometimes more than 20 per day. We are hopeful that the VNS will help control at least some of these seizures. Another Aicardi mom conducted an informal poll of parents, and of the 20 parents who responded to her survey - 50% saw a reduction in seizures by half or greater. Pretty good odds, in my opinion.

How a VNS works

While we wait to schedule her VNS surgery, Sadie will again be enrolled in RIC's (Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago) Day Rehab program where she will receive intensive therapy until school starts back up. Three days a week, two hours a day. I heard her give an exasperated sigh as the doctor and I discussed this therapy schedule. However, she progressed so well when she did this therapy post-brain surgery last Spring, I can only hope that it will help her just as much this time around.

Hope. It's something I've been thinking a lot about lately. As I mentioned, Sadie's seizures are still terrible. I'd be lying if I said there aren't many days when I feel hopeless - as if there is nothing else we can do for her. I do understand that there is the possibility that VNS therapy will not work for her. But, all we can do is HOPE.

It's this hope that keeps me from staring at the bottom of a bowl of brownie sundae daily. On the contrary, we've been doing our best to stay healthy - (trying to) eat right, getting to the gym, etc. - attempting to stay healthy for HER. But that's a topic for another blog post. For now, we are hanging by our fingernails to those strands of hope.

One Year Ago. Hindsight.

One year ago, we were preparing for what would be the biggest procedure of Sadie's life. On February 23rd, 2012, she had part of the right side of her brain removed. Similar to a hemispherectomy, the surgery removed her right frontal and parietal lobes of her brain. The hope was that by removing these areas of seizure focus, she would experience fewer seizures and have a better quality of life. The full surgery story can be found here.

It feels a little surreal to be approaching the one-year anniversary of her surgery. In some respects, it feels like it happened so long ago. It's been a rough year for Miss Sadie - a long recovery in Cleveland followed by two subsequent brain surgeries - a cyst fenestration in August to alleviate hydrocephalus, and a shunt placement in December when the hydrocephalus returned.

We knew going into the surgery last year that there could be a range of outcomes - anywhere from significant reduction in her seizures to no reduction. While we did see some initial reduction in the months following the surgery, the seizures seem to have found a new focus area on the other side of her brain.

Is this disheartening, yes. Does it make us question our decision? Of course. But we know that these are the unfortunate decisions that we as parents of a medically fragile child have to make in order to improve her quality of life. They are decisions that we wish we never had to make. We simply have to move forward and continue to do everything we can to make sure she has the best life possible.

On that note, a bit of good news is that her pee strike seems to be coming to an end - yay! After having to cath every four hours for a few weeks, she finally decided to start peeing again on her own. I was never so happy to see a wet diaper. Champagne was popped and celebration ensued. She is now peeing on her own about 90% of the time. There have been a few times every other day or so, when we have to go in to get the pee, but it seems that her bladder has regained it's function.

Ultimately, who knows why she started retaining her urine. Although the pee strike seemed to coincide with her treatment on the seizure medication, Banzel. While urinary retention is not a listed side-effect, Banzel proved to be an awful medicine for Sadie. It intensified her acid reflux - causing her to vomit a few times and actually seemed to make her seizures worse. Once we started weaning her off the medicine, she had fewer seizures. Case made that every girl with Aicardi Syndrome is so different, as Banzel has been a great medicine for many of Sadie's Aicardi sisters.



Activating her light box during therapy

While the pee issues seem to be getting better, the constipation issues continue. We are following the treatment plan of Sadie's GI Motility Specialist who has ordered an anorecal manometry study. She will undergo this test next week to determine whether her muscles "down there" are operating properly to pass stool. Fun stuff.

Another bit of good news, is that Sadie completed her steroid treatment a few weeks ago - whew! We were hoping that getting her off steroids would help with her sleep issues. Unfortunately that does not seem to be the case. As a matter of fact, her sleep patterns have been getting progressively worse lately. She has been a bit hyperactive lately and is unable to nap during the day. At night, she is able to get to sleep, but staying asleep has been an issue. On a typical night, she is up between 3-6 times. The entire house is sleep-deprived.



How the Vagal Nerve Stimulator (VNS) works

We had been holding off on investigating the sleep issue in great depth, thinking that the sleep problems were related to her seizure activity - hoping that better seizure control would equal better sleep. After almost three years, and only a handful of nights where she's slept the entire night - we're ready to pursue an in-depth sleep analysis. More to come on that.

We have also scheduled an appointment to discuss a Vagal Nerve Stimulator (VNS) for Sadie. A VNS is like a pacemaker for the brain - helping keep the brain waves from getting too crazy. VNS has been a highly effective tool for girls with Aicardi Syndrome, and we can only hope that it is just as helpful for Sadie.

So, lots going on in Sadie-Land. She is back in the swing of things with all of her therapies. And overall is more alert and attentive - giving out lots of smiles, which makes this crazy journey a lot more enjoyable!

Redefining Rare

Sadie snoozing after her
g-tube surgery.

We always say that Sadie redefines "rare."  Her diagnosis of Aicardi Syndrome itself is rare, with only about 800 known instances of the Syndrome in the U.S. Additionally, many of the events that have occurred this year are rare side effects of the Syndrome and her treatment.

Starting with her brain surgery at Cleveland Clinic in February, she has experienced a series of these "rare" events. First, the 27-day hospital stay following her surgery, which began with Sadie falling into status epilepticus post-surgery - supposedly a rare side effect, occurring in only about 2-3% of cases.

Next, during her six month surgical follow up this past August, the docs found scar tissue had formed in the brain causing fluid to build up. Another rare occurrence resulting in her second brain surgery, a cyst fenestration to drain the cyst and open up the brain's natural circulation. The surgery had a 50% chance of success of alleviating the hydrocephalus (fluid buildup).

Our hopes were that we would avoid a shunt (artificial drain) placed in Sadie's brain. We thought our prayers had been answered earlier this year when the fluid seemed to be circulating, and the scans showed that the cyst had decreased in size.

Sadie in her holiday jumper

Recently, Sadie's seizures have been particularly hard to control...getting worse and worse despite medication increases and changes. Additionally, she has not been as visually attentive and her eyes have been a little shaky and downcast. Well, we may have found the cause. The recent scans show fluid is again building up in her brain, now requiring a shunt to be placed.

If there is a silver lining to this recent discovery, it's that hopefully the hydrocephalus was the cause of the seizure increase and we'll see a decrease once the shunt is placed. Optimistically, we also hope that some of Sadie's movements and behaviors that we thought to be lost, will return.

Sadie will have her shunt placed at the end of this week. Her fourth surgery of 2012 (Merry Christmas to us!). Dr. Tomita at Lurie Children's Hospital will perform the surgery - a surgery which he explained as "common"...as common as brain surgery can be, I suppose. The surgery will take about 1 hour and if things go well, she could be released the very next day.

In other news, Sadie's g-tube surgery earlier this month went quite smooth. Despite a little bit of discomfort, she performed like a rock-star and was released the very next day. We can only hope that shunt surgery will go as smoothly.

Moving into what we hope to be an uneventful 2013, we always pay close attention to the "rare" side effects of treatment and medication. As we now know "rare" means "things likely to happen to Sadie."

Facing Reality

Sadie in her owl costume on Halloween.

The morning after Sadie's diagnosis, I remember awakening and hoping that the previous day was all a dream. But I quickly had to face the reality that it wasn't. Coming to terms with reality can be a difficult task for parents of special needs children. It's been particularly difficult lately as Sadie has been struggling in so many areas.

We've already faced some pretty tough realities - that our little girl may never walk, talk, or develop like a normal child. But for a long period of time, she was still making gains. She smiled, she held a toy for a short time, she swatted at beads on her toy bar, she rolled over for the first time at 18 months! While these might sound like small, insignificant gains to others, they were HUGE for us - and for Sadie.

I always try my hardest to stay positive, but the simple truth is she no longer does many of these things. Things that we once took for granted - like bringing her hands together, holding and grasping a toy, mashing her little hands against her face, swallowing food, sucking on a bottle. We've had to come to terms that these skills might be lost.

Who knows why she has regressed in some areas. Maybe it's the burden of multiple seizures (now over 20 per day) catching up with her. Maybe it's an unfortunate side effect of the two brain surgeries. Maybe it's just the nature of her getting bigger and it being more difficult to move her body around. Whatever it is, it hurts my heart deeply.



This is what a G-Tube looks like.

Recently, we've had to accept the fact that she needs a feeding tube. Every parent has their own hot button - something that is particularly difficult to accept. For some, it's the wheelchair, or the trach, for us...it was the G-Tube. Her recent swallow study confirmed that Sadie's swallow isn't strong enough to get all her calories orally. The news didn't come as a huge surprise to us. After all, she has had the temporary NG tube in place for almost 6 months now.

The G-Tube procedure will be done at the end of this month. It pains me that she will undergo yet another surgery this year. But we know that for her health, it's what she needs. On a positive note, we'll never worry about dehydration or getting her medicines. I also learned that you can vent a g-tube, allowing gas to expel directly out of the stomach...who knew? When people ask about it, I tell them it looks like the plug for an inflatable pool toy. I suppose it's a natural way to feed, after all, we all fed that way in utero, right?

The "wobble switch" recommended for Sadie.

Despite my melancholy about the hiccup with her development, Sadie has been keeping busy with her weekly aqua therapy sessions. If she would only keep her eyes open in the warm therapy pool. (She seems to think it's a bubble bath.) 

She also underwent an augmentative communication clinic at our local Easter Seals branch. They recommended a few low tech communication devices for her as well as a wobble switch. The switch can be used to activate toys, play music, make choices, etc. It is easily activated by any movement of her hand or arm.

So, while there are a few good things happening in Sadie Land...it's been difficult lately to see the forest for the trees.

Where to Begin...

Sadie post surgery

I've been procrastinating writing this post because so much has occurred in the past few weeks. Where to begin...

I suppose I'll start with the biggest piece of news. In case you hadn't heard, Sadie had a second brain surgery a few weeks ago. During her 6 month post-surgery follow up appointments at Cleveland Clinic, her MRI showed water in her brain cavity that was unable to drain. This fluid-filled pocket (or cyst) was causing pressure to build up and press against her brain stem and other structures in her brain. We saw this clearly on the MRI.

The doctor was not 100% sure why this occured, he said that it is possible that scar tissue from her first surgery formed a membrane over the brain's natural drain causing a buildup of fluid. Apparently this can happen in 5-10% of patients who receive brain surgery.

The doctor spoke about a few symptoms that we might have seen. Headaches, sleepiness, loss of head control, etc. Obviously, Sadie can't tell us if she has a headache, but we hadn't noticed a change in her behavior. We did, however, notice that her head control hasn't been quite as good and she has been excessively sleepy lately - both things that we had been attributing to a recent change in seizure medicines. 

Our pager that provided updates
during Sadie's surgery.

The doctor layed out a few options for treatment. First, we could choose a cyst fenestration - which essentially is a procedure where they go into the brain to lance the cyst and create a natural hole for the brain to begin to naturally regulate the pressure. The second option he offered was a cyst fenestration and shunt. A shunt is an artificial drain which is implanted in the head and drains the spinal fluid into the belly where it is reabsorbed. The drawbacks of a shunt is the probability that it could malfunction, get infected, etc. This occurs quite often. Lastly, he mentioned that some parents may choose NOT to treat the condition and hope for the best. The obvious drawback to this choice is that this condition can be fatal.

Adin and I decided that we were not willing to give up fighting for Sadie, and we would obviously choose to treat this condition. Which left us with surgery or surgery as options - not a great choice. So, we chose to do the cyst fenestration and hope that it works to drain the fluid and create the natural circulation of fluid in her brain. Here are some articles we read which describes the procedure in more detail:

http://cornellneurosurgery.org/pedneuro/endo_cyst.html

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3226511

The drawback of the cyst fenestration without a shunt is there is a possibility that it might not work. The doctor told us that it has a 50% chance of working. Sadie will have a CT scan of her brain in six weeks which will show whether the surgery was a success. If the fenestration alone isn't effective, we'll have to consider a shunt.

Doors to the PICU.
I've seen these much too often.

Surgery was performed at Cleveland Clinic by Dr. Bingamin, the surgeon who performed her first surgery. Although this is not what we expected when traveling to Cleveland for follow up appointments, we knew she would be in good hands.

Unlike Sadie's first surgery, this inpatient recovery stay was relatively short. She was discharged in three days. She is now recovering at home and is doing quite well.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers throughout the next six weeks as we pray this surgery is successful and she will not need a shunt.

P.S. In our next blog post, I'll fill you in on all the FUN and exciting things Sadie has been doing this summer (trips to the Museum, the bienniel Aicardi Family Conference, etc.)

How Do You Measure a Year?

Sadie "dolled up" for Easter.

It's hard to believe that Sadie turns TWO this weekend. Although in some respects, it seems like she's been around longer than just two years. Heaven knows, the poor girl has endured so much in her short little life.

It has now been almost 9 weeks since Sadie's brain surgery. As the doctors predicted, Sadie is still having seizures. The seizures are milder and less frequent than before. Pre-surgery, Sadie was having 5-10 clusters/day lasting as long as 15 minutes. Post-surgery, she is at 4-6 clusters/day, with the most severe lasting 10 minutes. While this is a significant improvement, I can't help but be a bit disheartened that we didn't see a more drastic improvement. Although we went into the surgery with our expectations set, knowing that we could see NO improvement... as a parent, you can't help but HOPE for more.

Since my last blog post, sleep has improved slightly (quick prayer to sleep gods). At two years old, she still has trouble sleeping through the night, primarily due to the seizures that awaken her multiple times during the night. Mommy has now developed a habit of pulling her into bed with her if she awakens between 5-6 am. Mommy and Sadie snuggle, hold hands and dose for another hour or so. I have to admit, it's my favorite part of the day :)

Sadie using a switch during vision therapy.

Therapy is going well. Sadie's muscles are getting much stronger. Her head control and trunk control have improved immensely. We've also been working with a switch - basically a big button that teaches Sadie cause and effect. She currently uses a switch that says "eat" when we feed her. This picture shows her using a switch during a vision therapy session.

Unfortunately, until we receive that crystal ball from heaven, we'll have to continue making these difficult decisions on behalf of our daughter...not knowing the final outcome. Making each decision in the most thoughtful manner possible, all the while hoping...and hoping...that your decisions made will result in her having a better quality of life. And isn't that what EVERY parent wants for their child?

Last year's birthday blog post measured Sadie's doctor visits, therapy sessions, etc. This year, she has had the same busy schedule...but I feel like so much has changed. When we look at her, we don't see a child with disabilities. We see a child who knows her Mommy and Daddy - likes music, being outside, snuggling with her aunties...and a child who is HAPPY. And that is our biggest wish for her.

Preparing for the Unknown

Posting to Sadie's blog has taken a back seat lately as we prepare for her upcoming surgery. I hadn't realized all the minutiae involved with a child undergoing such a surgery. There is coordination between doctors, hospitals, insurance companies, therapists. Conversations about pre-op medications, post-op therapy. In these weeks leading up to her surgery, we've been trying to do our best to not expose Sadie to any unnecessary viruses and have generally been trying to keep her as healthy as possible. We've hit a few stumbling blocks with feeding issues and oxygen saturations. But, she seems to have bounced back OK. We've also been doing some things to take care of ourselves during this time, because we know that the road ahead will be full of uncertainty.

There are a number of things that we simply will not know until after her surgery. For example, how her feeding will be handled - if she'll be able to eat by mouth, or if she'll need a temporary (NG) feeding tube. What her post-surgery rehab schedule will be. How long she'll need to be in the hospital, etc. etc.

We DO know that the surgery will last between 3-5 hours. The doctors will be removing her right frontal and parietal lobes of her brain. Surgical recovery will be between 5-7 days, followed by an intense rehab schedule, either inpatient or outpatient, or a combination of both. Sadie will have a scar behind her hairline on the right side of her head. Stitches will be involved. There will be a trip back to Cleveland in 6 weeks, 6 months, one, two and three years to assess the success of the surgery.

The uncertainty of it all is unsettling. Particulary for two people like Adin and I who thrive on consistency, routine, and pre-planning. But the hardest uncertainty of all is not knowing how her little body will react to the surgery. Worry has engulfed us both. Thinking about anything but her surgery is extremely difficult. We certainly HOPE and PRAY the surgery will help to control her seizures - but nothing is certain. And the not knowing is the hardest part.

Please continue to keep Sadie in your prayers through the difficult weeks that lie ahead.

The Things You Never Wanted To Know

Parenting is a learning curve. All new parents understand the frustration of figuring out how to care for a new baby, whether it be the meaning of different-sounding cries, recognizing the "poopy-face," or how to assemble those darn Dr. Brown's bottles. However, parenting a child with special needs is a whole other ball of wax. There are quite a few things I've learned since becoming Sadie's mom that I never thought I'd need to know, nor ever wanted to know.

Here is a sampling:
- How to check for placement of an NG tube
- The names of the parking garage cashiers at Children's Memorial Hospital
- mg per kg calculations for Sadie's medicines
- How to put a regulator on an oxygen tank
- The definitions of fancy medical terms like hypsarrhythmia, hemispherectomy, and corpus callosum
- How to turn a hospital chair into a bed

Last week we were introduced to yet another thing that we never wanted to know. I've mentioned previously that a few of Sadie's doctors have questioned whether she has a metabolic or mitochondrial disease in addition to Aicardi Syndrome. Thus far, all the initial testing has come back negative. During our visit to Cleveland Clinic last week, we met with a doctor who specializes in this area. Despite the initial testing coming back negative, he explained that he strongly believes that an additional mitochondrial diagnosis does exist. He equated the initial blood and urine tests to fishing in a pond. Sometimes there are a bunch of fish there, but you don't catch any.

The problem with mitochondrial disease is there isn't a foolproof way to diagnose it, nor are there great treatment options. Diagnostic tests in order of least to most effective include: spinal tap, skin biopsy, and muscle biopsy (cutting a 2-3 inch incision in the thigh to extract about 1 cm of muscle). But even the muscle biopsy can miss a diagnosis 20% of the time. If they DO find that Sadie has a mitochondrial disease, treatment would include a vitamin regimen and some additional supplements to help the mitochondria function more effectively.

So...you're probably asking, what does this mean? Mitochondrial disease is scary stuff. Back to Biology 101, the mitochondria in the cell convert food into energy. When they don't work properly, kids get sicker faster, have a harder time recovering, eventually cells start dying, organs fail...you probably can fill in the rest.

So where does that leave Sadie? The doctor explained that some parents of medically-complex kids just decide to let it be an unanswered question. They just don't want to put their child through the diagnostic tests that may or may not yield results. Other parents do all the testing. Adin and I aren't yet sure what we'll do.

We went to Cleveland seeking some answers about pursuing brain surgery for Sadie, and left with a whole other set of questions. The initial feedback from the doctors is that a mitochondrial disease would not prevent them from doing surgery. There would be additional precautions the docs would take during surgery.

In deciding whether or not to do surgery, a few things the doctors said really hit home for us both. The neurosurgeon said that it is unlikely that the part of the brain they are proposing to remove (right frontal and parietal lobes) is doing anything besides causing seizures due to the extent of malformation. When discussing risks of the surgery, the the head epileptologist pointed out that yes, there are risks to the surgery, but there are also risks to having uncontrolled epilepsy for a lifetime.

So, we are going to pursue brain surgery for Sadie. It hasn't been an easy decision, but we feel like it is her best chance of gaining some seizure control. And, even if we see little or no improvement, at least we will know that we tried everything we could to give her a better quality of life.

In the meantime, we are letting the news about the additional mitochondrial disease settle in before we decide which diagnostic testing we'll pursue, if any. Yet another thing we never wanted to know...but we'll get through it. What would you do it if was your child?